How to Be and Feel Happy

There’s probably no person who doesn’t want to feel happy. But if you ask yourself, “Am I truly happy right now?”, the answer won’t always be a confident yes.

Psychologist Natalia Vovk, Director of the “Tomalogy Center” for self-knowledge and development, shared with VITAGURU how to truly experience happiness.

According to her, the key is realizing that happiness depends on us, not on something in the past or something that might happen in the future.

“People often talk about happiness in future terms: ‘I want to be happy. I want to make someone happy. I want someone to make me happy,’ or in the past: ‘I was happy when I met my partner, got my degree, received an award, or walked through the botanical garden,’” says Natalia.

It’s crucial to remember that happiness is an internal state. We must learn to live in the present moment, being fully aware of our emotions.

So what exactly is the feeling of happiness connected to?
We often think it requires a reason, a lucky coincidence, or the fulfillment of certain conditions. But when we recall moments of happiness, they’re usually more about an inner feeling than about something specific that happened.

We can feel happy when we’re not overwhelmed by stress, not overly self-conscious or anxious about where we are or how things will turn out. The truth is, we always have something to worry about—and we tend to think we’ll be happy when things finally go our way. But in reality, happiness depends on us, right here and now.

What can you do to feel happy more often?

1. Stop obsessing over happiness
Happiness isn’t a goal—it’s a state you can tap into right now. Those who know how to live in the present moment are more likely to say, “I feel good. I’m content. I’m happy.” Developing this mindset takes practice, but it’s worth it. We often ignore the present moment because our minds are focused on something else. But life is happening now—not before, not after. Learning to live in the present isn’t just helpful—it’s essential.

2. Make peace with your emotions
We’re always experiencing some kind of emotion. The moment we label it as positive or negative, we naturally want to either hold on to it or get rid of it as quickly as possible. But that usually just triggers suppression or overcompensation. Emotions have their own natural rhythm: a beginning, a peak, and an end. Learning not to suppress them, but to observe and experience them mindfully, helps us better manage our inner world. And once we can understand our own emotions, we become better at connecting with others as well.

3. Allow yourself to make mistakes
Have you ever gone over a past situation again and again, wishing you had acted differently—said something else, stayed silent, made a different choice? We convince ourselves that we’re learning and improving, but often we’re just beating ourselves up. And even that doesn’t guarantee we won’t repeat the same thing.

Instead, try to stay present with what happened. Feel the emotional wave. Learn to fall and get back up. That’s part of being human.

4. Don’t postpone your life
There’s a saying: “While we’re preparing to live, life passes us by.” Sounds familiar? Every moment something is happening. Life won’t start when we lose weight, earn more, or meet the right person. We are already in the center of our life’s story, right now! Whether we’re alone or with someone, talking or just thinking, life is unfolding. Start paying attention to what’s happening with you and around you. Notice your expectations and how they differ from reality.

Life has so many gifts for us—we just have to stop waiting for some perfect future to start noticing them.

Be happy. Now.